♚ (omo_joker) wrote,


commander naughty

 Commander Naughty
b.a.p; himchan-centric; banghim, hinted: daejong & younglo | pg | one-shot; fail humour and crack, fluff? | 1,600+w
Himchan has a mission.
a/n: been dipping in and out of the fandom, need to bring my sexy feels back ; u ; ♥
inspired by the tweets i stumbled upon a few months ago: his one-sided skinship with everyone and hyosung said something about himchan being naughty orz. 

Himchan crosses his arms and huffs. Why can’t the other members like skinship too? Skinship should be welcomed with open arms! That’s right. Nothing is wrong with it; it allows people to get closer to each other and it deepens the group’s bond. Himchan nods, a determined smile plastered on his face, he decides he’s going to make the other members love skinship too, whether they like it or not.

Himchan smiles impishly and whispers good night to himself. Tomorrow – well not really tomorrow, more like later that day 'cause you know, it's already past midnight – he's going to commence Mission Touchy and no one is going to escape!

He nods proudly and cackles under his blanket over his ingenious plan. Kim Himchan is going to share the love of skinship!

A pillow sails across the room and hits Himchan’s face with a plop.

“Shut it or you’re going to share the love with the couch and the living room.”


First thing Himchan sees later that morning is the carpet of their shared room. Yongguk has dragged him – quite literally and painfully – out of bed. He sighs as snuggles his head against the floor, still sleeping limbs unwilling to move.

Himchan’s never noticed it before but someone needs to vacuum the floor. It smells weird and in his current position – his face glued to the nasty suspicious stain on the carpet – he swears he could see something wiggling in between the fibres. He contemplates on waking Jongup up and make the younger vacuum the floor seeing that the kid would do anything his precious hyung says and oh, that reminds him: Mission Touchy!

Himchan shifts on the floor, the neon light of the clock on the wall catches his eyes. Rubbing his eyes, he squints at the clock. 5AM? He groans. Screw his mission, sleep comes first especially if they have practice in two or so hours. He hauls himself back to bed, burying his head deep under his pillow, sighing in content as he smells the sweet scent of his favourite strawberry shampoo.

As Himchanland slowly embraces him, the pillow covering his face disappears, grunting when something heavy plops down on his middle.

First thing Himchan thinks of is someone telling him about sleep paralysis and apparently that shit is scary as fuck so decides against opening his eyes because fuck, what if he sees something really scary. If it happens to you, try moving any part of your body, he remembers someone saying.  He wiggles his shoulders, freezing when he hears an annoyingly familiar chuckle.

“GDI Yongguk! Get off.” Himchan’s eyes flies open, he tries to turn in attempt to push Yongguk off him.

GDI? Seriously? Get up.” Yongguk plops a pillow on Himchan’s face when the latter whines about him being unfair and his bone-y fat ass is poking his tummy. Yongguk shakes his head and yanks the pillow away when Himchan manages to wiggle his arms out of the tangled blanket, bear hugging the poor squishy thing.

“Let go.” Himchan struggles as he sharply tugs on the pillow. Yongguk sighs and lets go. He knew he shouldn’t have but–

Himchan accidentally punches himself square on the face.

Yongguk cracks a grin, patting Himchan’s hair before he stands up leaving the room. He hears the latter’s dramatic cries of pain and the rest of the group’s annoyed protests of hyung, can you shut the fuck up.


“Hyung, did you punch yourself in your sleep?” Junhong peers over Himchan’s shoulder and pokes the purple-y black spot just above the elder’s cheekbone.

Himchan tries not to flinch; he closes his eyes and grits his teeth, fucking Bang Yongguk. His day isn’t going so well and he still needs to launch Mission Touch–

Junhong presses the bruise on Himchan’s face a little bit too hard.

A second later, Yongguk is sprawled on the kitchen floor with the dining table on top of him and the dongsaengs cowering behind the counter. Himchan flashes them a smile.



Himchan figured he’d start with the youngest, after all the maknae must be taught about the goodness of skinship first, right? Of course, Junhong is his first candidate!

The elder saunters in the living room plopping himself down the couch next to his target who’s busy playing with Youngjae’s head that is resting comfortably on his lap. Himchan eyes the way the youngest’s fingers dance through Youngjae’s hair. Oh good, Junhong already has the foundations of skinship, this should be easy. Himchan smiles inwardly and reaches out for Junho-

“Don’t even think about it, hyung.” He looks at the youngest who has the same surprised expression. They both look down to Youngjae who hasn’t even averted his gaze from his game console.

Himchan mouth falls open. How in the world?! He pouts, crossing his arms against his chest. Damn Youngjae. He just have to skip the youngest then.

He stands up and scans the room; it’s pretty much empty since the other three are out to buy groceries since he promised them dinner, which is a part of his plan where he isolates his first few targets but fucking Youngjae, ugh.


Yongguk, Daehyun and Jongup comes back with the wrong stuff. Himchan reluctantly drags himself to the kitchen, his plan going downhill. How can he make beef stew with only sushi rice, onion, garlic and chicken?!

They end up cooking Dakjuk. Still sullen over his failed attempt with the youngest and Youngjae, he shoos Yongguk away with Junhong and Youngjae to the living room and makes Daehyun and Jongup wash the rice while he boils the chicken.

After setting the stove to the right number on the dial, Himchan leans back against the cool surface of the refrigerator. He eyes the group’s second youngest fill the rice pot with water.

Next candidate, he smirks.

Jongup sloshes the rice grains around, swirling it quickly to one direction before abruptly stopping, giggling when he hears the soft shushing sound the grains make against the metallic pot.

Himchan pushes himself off the fridge and makes his way toward his next target, his pace slow, unhurried, as he observes the younger play the pot. He reaches out for Jongup’s –

“What are you doing?”

Himchan head whips his head towards the voice too quickly, vision blurring slightly. Daehyun. He steps back and cocks a brow in amusement as Daehyun makes his way in between him and Jongup.

“Oh, hi hyung.” Jongup smiles as he turns his head towards Daehyun who swiftly weaved through the kitchen island and Himchan. Daehyun smiles back leans forward, trapping the younger in between his body and the sink, his hands snaking the around younger’s waist briefly before joining Jongup’s hands in the pot. Himchan blinks at the gesture; he steps back and observes from his original position next to the refrigerator.

He blinks again when Daehyun places his hands on top of Jongup’s; curling his fingers in between the spaces among the younger’s fingers. A silent alarm goes off in Himchan’s head: skinship, skinship, skinship!

Himchan holds back a choked sob, familiar bliss and the feeling of being proud fills his chest as he watches his dongsaengs interact. Himchan mentally flails, he watches for a few more moments before remembering something, he should tell them they shouldn’t really be washing the rice grains but they’re so cute right now asdjksbfkdsjf.


Himchan eats in silence, brooding that his mission failed because of Youngjae and Junhong. He doesn’t notice Yongguk’s eyes on him throughout dinner.


Himchan offers to clean up. He pouts as he pushes chicken bones off the bowls into the bin, scraping the bowl’s surface a little bit too hard. He give up, the time will time come when the rest are ready, he’s quite happy with Daehyun and Jongup though.

He’s in the middle of cursing a spoon when he hears the refrigerator door open; he ignores it and continues on pouting at the bubbles that covered his hands.

 “Your lips are going to fall off.” Yongguk says, placing the empty glass in the sink.

“Yah!” irked, Himchan turns to Yongguk waving a wet sponge, “I’m not washing that…” he trails off as his eyes lands on the latter’s exposed collar. He remembers Yongguk sleeps with a wifebeater on. A fitted one. He swallows.

“Like what you’re seeing?” Himchan could almost feel the other’s smirk; he turns his back on the latter and continues on scrubbing.

In the corner of his eyes, he sees Yongguk lean back the counter next to him. He scrubs harder.

“What are you doing up?” Himchan says after a few minutes, rinsing the cutlery.


“For what?”


“Why?” Yongguk rolls his eyes; he pushes himself off the counter and stands behind Himchan.

Himchan grumbles something about Yongguk being an ass as he fills a bowl with water, swirling it around, completely oblivious of the latter behind him.

Yongguk wraps his arms around Himchan’s waist pulling the younger close against his chest. Himchan ignores him and continues on swirling the water in the bowl. The eldest raises a brow before nuzzling his nose behind the younger’s ear.

“Yah, stop it.” Himchan squirms in Yongguk’s arms, head tilting to the side in attempt to push the latter’s face off him but instead, Yongguk tightens his arms around him and kisses Himchan on the cheek. Himchan lets out a squeak and accidentally jerks his hand with the bowl full of water up, drenching both of them.

Yongguk, not caring about their current situation, laughs heartily as the man in his arms grumbles, trying to twist out of his hold.

“Himchan-ah, shut up.” He turns Himchan, his lips connecting with the latter’s. He feels Himchan tense but soon relaxes as the kiss deepens.

They both pull back, Himchan opens his mouth to say something but Yongguk cuts him off, pressing a finger against Himchan’s lips.

“Why?” Himchan pries Yongguk’s finger away.

“I’ll help you with Junhong and Youngjae.”

Himchan opens his mouth again despite Yongguk’s attempt to silence the younger.

“I’ll kiss you again.”


a/n: dakjuk - chicken porridge. un-beta'd and idk what the hell happened at the end aashbsjhgbdfg
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Tags: ((younglo)), babo otp, fandom: b.a.p, mom and dad otp
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